The Lovesong Writer

you'd think that after almost a week - six days to be exact - that i'd be over it. but no, i'm just trying to convince myself otherwise. i'm living in a deadly world filled with lies trying to pretend everything's dandy. but the truth is, it's not. everything's not dandy. in fact everything i've worked so hard for is falling apart. the stitchings i've weaved all these years are coming apart. making them bare and thin as they once were. i'm still standing strong, but who knows for how long more? i can't take it anymore, these voices in my head are incessant. urgh! am i destined to walk alone on the face of the planet forever? maybe i'm just too afraid to open up. i never have. only in those days when i was naive. i have no idea why it's hard for me to trust. will they actually understand me? i never thought so. their lives were like an old oak tree - strong yet stable rooted at the same spot. me? my life was one with the wind. following wherever it took me. and now i'm here, with cold numbness in my body.
-su rin

6:13 pm;
Still waiting for you-